slow down mama
Photo Caitlin Clark @caitaclark
Anyone else feel like they are always in a rush? When my alarm goes off every morning I’m rushing to the basement to workout. I’m rushing to make some coffee and get myself ready. I’m rushing to get the kids fed, dressed and out the door. I’m rushing to work, then I’m rushing home. Rushing to get dinner ready. Rushing to get the kids ready for bed. Then I get some sleep and start the whole process again the next day. On and on it goes.
Maybe I’m the only one that feels this way but I doubt it.
If you’re reading this and feeling my pain I want to encourage you to read on. This post is one part legit PSA that may save your life and one part PSA that might save your sanity.
PSA #1 - CHEW YOUR FOOD
When I became a mom I started a bad habit. Perhaps this was always a problem for me but I think it really kicked in after having kids. I eat too fast. I’m so used to being interrupted during meals that I eat really fast before anyone needs me. After a little Googling I discovered the obvious, it’s not good for your health to eat too fast. It can also be hazardous.
Last week I was preparing dinner while running through a mental checklist of all the things I needed to do that night. I left work late and my son had a Cub Scout meeting so I was in a bit of a rush. The dinner I had planned to make was going to take too long so I had my husband grill a flank steak and I threw together some sides. Things weren’t exactly going as planned. I chopped up the steak for the kid’s plates and mindlessly snacked on a few pieces as I worked. Suddenly, I was choking.
I couldn’t swallow. I couldn’t breathe. My kids were just a few feet away waiting for their dinner at the kitchen table. My husband was next to me confused about what was happening. I coughed up some steak and made my way to the sink. My husband gave me the Heimlich and dislodged the food from my windpipe. I could breathe again…but I still couldn’t swallow.
I tried to drink water - nope.
I tried to swallow harder - nope.
Long story short I went to the ER and had to be put under to have a ball-o-steak shoved down my throat. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.
My fabulous ER selfie. Not pictured: The cup I had to spit in because I couldn’t swallow.
At the risk of sounding like Tai from Clueless recounting her “near death experience” things could have ended very differently. Since my “incident” I have had several people share stories of friends and friends of friends who had gone through the same thing but the outcome was not so positive. At the hospital a nurse told me the night before 3 people had to have the same procedure.
It was a dramatic, long and expensive ordeal that could have 100% been avoided if I had just slowed down and paid attention to what I was doing….and of course chewed my food. All the items I was running through on my mental checklist seemed critical until I started choking. I assure you that when I couldn’t breathe I forgot about everything I thought I needed to do. I’m not sure if any of those things were ever thought of again.
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in busyness. It’s so easy to be distracted by things that seem important. It’s so easy to let the stress of a never ending to do list steal your joy. This brings me to PSA #2.
PSA #2 - SLOW DOWN
It’s ok to slow down. It’s necessary to slow down. We were not created to be constantly busy and rushing. There is no award for being busy all the time. Slow down.
My office has a Halloween party every year and everyone (read: all the cool people) dresses up. There’s a costume contest and prizes and bragging rights on the line for winners. I always dress up. This year I planned to dress up but the morning of the party I was worn out. I was running late and (of course) rushing to get the kids in their costumes and pack extra clothes for after their Halloween parties. I really didn’t want to pull a costume together but I didn’t want to let anyone down either (as if anyone actually cares if I dress up). Really deep down I didn’t want anyone to think that I was not capable of working full time, raising three kids and still managing to put together a winning costume. Even though I know there is no award for busyness I tend to award myself with a badge of honor for handling how busy I am so well. Please note: I don’t actually handle it well but I like other people to think I do.
Then it hit me. Who cares? Why was I stressing and rushing and worrying? As I packed backpacks I just removed “office Halloween costume” from my to do list. I removed other’s expectations from my worry list. I just gave myself permission to not participate this year and not worry about it. No one was going to die. There was nothing on the line other than maybe letting some co-workers down. Don’t get me wrong I care about letting people down but I don’t care that much about letting someone down over a costume. I let go of the desire to appear like I have it all together. This may seem like a ridiculous example (because it kind of is) but the truth is we stress about ridiculous things all the time. We create expectations for ourselves that don’t hold any real worth and then beat ourselves up when we fail to meet those expectations. I think this is especially true around the holidays.
If you are reading this and feeling stressed, overworked and overwhelmed with the holiday season approaching let me encourage you. There is freedom and peace in not doing all of the things. There is freedom in saying “no” to others and yourself. I love the idea (not mine) of JOMO. It’s like FOMO (fear of missing out) but awesome. JOMO is the joy of missing out. You can buy the pie instead of make the pie if you don’t really have the time. You don’t have to attend a party just because you were invited. You don’t have to give every person you know a gift. You don’t have to go out and get someone a gift just because they gave you one. You don’t have to send out Christmas cards just because you did last year. Focus on the things that matter the most and let go of the things that don’t.
I also want to encourage you to set some healthy expectations for this holiday season. A list of goals to help you prioritize where you want to spend time and energy and help you focus on what matters the most.
I will share mine:
I will choose gratitude and joy instead of negativity.
I will not compare my real life to the highlight reel of social media.
I will slow down and soak in the memories of this season.
I will prioritize quality family time over projects.
I will sit down for meals and chew my food properly so I don’t choke.